kludge
void kludge(char *, char *);
kludge("%s breathes fire!","The dragon");
kludge("%s explodes!","The freezing sphere");
kludge("You are frozen by %ss juices","the cube'");
kludge("You are put to sleep by %ss bite!",
kludge("%s has grabbed you!","The owlbear");
kludge("%s swallows you!",name);
kludge("%s digests you!",name);